he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
