You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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