I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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