Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
