made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Its about making memories worth repressing
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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