I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Randomize
