is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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