This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
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