it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
he shaved USA in his pubs
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
