i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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