walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
