He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
