i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
