Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
