Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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