She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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