cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
