Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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