Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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