...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
