You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
