I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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