Porn is love you can see.
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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