She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
