if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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