You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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