Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
