Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Randomize
