we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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