I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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