Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
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