3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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