She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
