he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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