How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize