She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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