And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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