you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
