went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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