So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
