Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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