would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
