Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
