I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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