I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
