i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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