Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
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