"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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