i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
