Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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