Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
