i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize