I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
