A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
