you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
