So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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