Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
