Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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