Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
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