no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
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ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
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I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome