Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(518): View more from New York

True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.

(1-518): View more from New York

True? Did she teach you things?

(518): View more from New York

She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.

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(518): True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night. (1-518): True? Did she teach you things? (518): She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am. http://tfl.nu/r18t

Replies (13) Good night (2704) Bad night (615)
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(703): View more from Virginia

She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper

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(703): She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper http://tfl.nu/dnfr

Replies (30) Good night (5407) Bad night (408) Order T-Shirt
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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.

(1-403): View more from Alberta, CA

at least i was looking out for everybody

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(403): You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone. (1-403): at least i was looking out for everybody http://tfl.nu/ilsz

Replies (8) Good night (4449) Bad night (530) Order T-Shirt
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(631): View more from New York

there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.

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(631): there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be. http://tfl.nu/ag4a

Replies (12) Good night (4213) Bad night (1623) Order T-Shirt
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(815): View more from Illinois

I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating

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(815): I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating http://tfl.nu/k15b

Replies (30) Good night (969) Bad night (6847) Order T-Shirt
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(612): View more from Minnesota

Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.

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(612): Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now. http://tfl.nu/y7cf

Replies (35) Good night (4012) Bad night (1585) Order T-Shirt
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(440): View more from Ohio

Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried

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(440): Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried http://tfl.nu/9dr3

Replies (51) Good night (15128) Bad night (3709) Order T-Shirt
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(302): View more from Delaware

just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.

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(302): just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach. http://tfl.nu/5cxr

Replies (3) Good night (2686) Bad night (659) Order T-Shirt
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(954): View more from Florida

I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.

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(954): I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure. http://tfl.nu/up4h

Replies (11) Good night (2412) Bad night (898) Order T-Shirt
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(816): View more from Missouri

We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?

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(816): We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right? http://tfl.nu/k62y

Replies (3) Good night (1664) Bad night (468) Order T-Shirt
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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?

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(780): Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off? http://tfl.nu/9svp

Replies (3) Good night (1164) Bad night (869) Order T-Shirt
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(773): View more from Illinois

What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.

(1-773): View more from Illinois

Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.

(773): View more from Illinois

We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?

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(773): What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat. (1-773): Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious. (773): We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru? http://tfl.nu/d3s4

Replies (7) Good night (1370) Bad night (340)
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(815): View more from Illinois

Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.

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(815): Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off. http://tfl.nu/t0xa

Replies (7) Good night (2506) Bad night (329) Order T-Shirt
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(313): View more from Michigan

What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask

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(313): What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask http://tfl.nu/sq4u

Replies (4) Good night (1154) Bad night (245) Order T-Shirt
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(847): View more from Illinois

They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs

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(847): They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs http://tfl.nu/t67m

Replies (3) Good night (520) Bad night (134) Order T-Shirt

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