You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
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hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
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I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?